Three of Hearts


Synopsis
This documentary follows seven years in the lives of a tri-nogomous group, Sam, Steven, and Samantha.

Observations
I watched this documentary twice before blogging it and I still don't feel like I'm ready to comment. If you want to watch a flick that will mess with what you think about family life, love, and relationships, this is it. Sam and Steven were together as a gay couple for several years before Sam suggested bringing a woman into the relationship. After a few failed attempts, Sam found Samantha, a Canadian transport of East Indian descent living in NYC. The three of them were in a relationship for a total of thirteen years and have two children together (one child biologically Steven's and one biologically Sam's). This convoluted bliss ends when Steven decides to leave the relationship.

The first time I watched Three of Hearts, I was devastated that the relationship ended. The second time I watched it, I saw why. Sam is the ultimate narcissist. He manipulates Steven and Samantha subtly. Sam uses Steven and Samantha to create a life he never had for himself when he was growing up. Sam talks at the end of the film about how to him, in his own way, this relationship made him feel more like part of society. Even though he was a gay male, he had a wife and children and got to 'play straight'. That may sound ludicrous at first, but really aren't most of us trying to fit in?

At one point a family friend that the threesome hired to help Steven extricate himself from the group says during a moment of conflict “I didn't create this family, you did.” Well, aren't we sanctimonious?? Isn't that a conveniently back-handed way of saying “I told you so. This type of relationship could never work.” But you know what, it does for no less than 13 years.

There is some criticism of the movie because it seems like there is much more footage from when the relationship was working then from when the relationship began to end and after. Though there were aspects that could have used the extra clarification, I think that this film does a spectacular job of making the viewer feel like the fourth member in the relationship, the voyeur.

I was blown away by the depth of genuine emotion that the filmmakers were able to elicit from all three people. I was really only left wondering how the filmmaker found such an interesting and complicated group.

Rating:
Amazon's entry for Three of Hearts